Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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