My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
where are my pants?
in the oven.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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