You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
