there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
