I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
