Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
