He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
