well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
