I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
