I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
