The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
