there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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