she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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