i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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