eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
