why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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