As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
