your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
