So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
