he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
