im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
