He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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