hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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