Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You pole danced in your parka.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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