Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
