Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it penis luge time yet?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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