apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
