why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
