You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
