I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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