I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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