'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
