sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you never un-have a 4some
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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