That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
