2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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