yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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