I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
