Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
