i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
