Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
