No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
