he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
