White coat. Heels.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
you made out with another girl for some wings
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
