Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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