and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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