I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
