Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
