Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you would pick up someone in the library
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
