Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize