what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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