I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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