It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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