I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
