Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
